Bob's Your Uncool

by King's Cup

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about

Our first album. 10 tracks recorded by Jacob Munnery June 2013 at Belbelo (Woodend)

1. Melbourne Town
2. Static
3. Bottle-O
4.New Shirt Dub
5. I Was Only 19 (Redgum)
6. 3 Guys 1 King's Cup (Ft. Wondermere)
7. Oxford
8. The Grog Delusion
9. King's Cup Party
10. Scrub

credits

released November 27, 2013

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King's Cup Melbourne, Australia

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Track Name: Melbourne Town
It's up in Melbourne Town I'm doing beer bongs for chases
and I'm drinking VB on a regular basis
the money is tight and I live at my mums house
at the end of the night I got my dick in some chicks mouth
and a bottle of red and a plastic tape recorder
and I'm smoking cigarettes so my life keeps getting shorter
reppin the buttoned shirts in the Macedon Ranges
my nights a fucking blur I'm smoking reefers with strangers
or I'm beating the dangers of a bank account with Westpac
with no cash and no stash keep finding ways to get whacked
big fucking trip I'll just stare at the ceiling
I get the bitches on my dick when I rhyme about my feelings
and my dealings with the banks they all get on top of me
I lie awake at night planning a big fucking robbery
and it bothers me it seems to be that youve won the lottery
when the milk in my cereals a fucking commodity
I got no friends so I sit at home puffing endo
and Id pull an all nighter just to play my nintendo
cause I'm still unemployed so everyday I get to sleep in
but I cant even afford to buy the food that I'm eating
and my kitchen appliances all have different alliances
I always burn my toast and I have to call the fireman
or I'm lying in my bed just having a good time
or I'm fucked out of my head on some victimless crime
I've got the wickedest lines the wittiest lines
I'm a professional purveyor of your cheapest wines bitch
and my pitch it aint so great I sing out of tune when I get up on stage
and I never get paid more than the minimum wage
just enough to get a pint and a ticket for the train
so I can get to the place where my band is booked to play
but the promoter cuts our quota cause he cant afford to pay
Track Name: Static
Well now the summer days they take me far away
back when I was underage but we partied hard anyway
and I say we're growing up each day
but we're not and we're still smoking pot
and I still remember all the reasons I dont like school
but fuck it I still finished high school
and I will never let my mum find out
but at my school me and my friends got high at school
and I'm staying up late with a couple of mates
watching Obi-Wan Kenobi fighting crime in space
I can quote every line to The Empire Stikes Back
I played Tony Hawk cause it had a sick sound track
Ive been down on the corner of my block
at that pub I used to work at before I quit my job
cause I'm the guy with the bucket and the mop
and I clean the floors I fucking hate my boss
but im not starting static tonight
you can find me at the party on the microphone
or you can find me in your garden shed smoking cones
or at home making sure my garden grows
or I'm stealing the end of Kelton's hose
and DJ's now heres a reminder
that my rhymes are spinning faster than the Hadron Collider
and Ima kicking since '93
I'm gonna learn how to cook speed
and if the coppers find out I dont give a fuck
cause I'm not intimidated by pepper spray and handcuffs
I stand tough screaming out fuck the police
fuck Tony Abbot and legalise weed
Ive been down on the corner of my block
at that pub I used to work at before I quit my job
cause I'm the guy with the bucket and the mop
and I clean the floors I fucking hate my boss
but im not starting static
Track Name: Bottle-O
From the heat waves up in Melbourne to the winters in Gisborne
Im just trying to make peace with the life that I've been living
but I've made some bad decisions and I'm not winning
and I cant see straight man I'm seeing double visions
I can tell you about the days when you feel so alone
I can tell you about the nights you meet a girl and take her home
the times you lose your phone the times you have to loan
five dollars off your mates just to get back home
or you cant afford to eat and youre still getting stoned
or you havent got a ticket and there's PSO's
and they know who you are and they know where you go
cause the same cunce caught you like 3 weeks ago
and sometimes it gets hard working 8 days a week in your factories
and I can't sleep it feels like I'm dying
Cause now the morning makes my head hurt
and I spilled beer on my clean shirt
I havent slept in my own bed for days and days
And the only girls that I know work at the Gisborne bottle-o
they know me by my first name
and fuck Centrelink I just want money to drink
I wanna get high and get laid and then throw up in your sink
but I think that the drink is pulling us in
and now I'm on the brink and I cant even swim
I'm the guy at the party that everyone knows
cause I'll break into your shed for a funnel and a hose
and for all those who goes to the punk rock shows
you all know how we're so incredibly broke
and now I'll sleep in late on this hard wooden floor
but it's like 10 past 8 and someone's mowing the lawns
so I walk down to the store for a bottle of walkers
and I pass my mates by the centrelink doors
and sometimes it gets hard working 8 days a week in your factories
and I can't sleep it feels like I'm dying
Cause now the morning makes my head hurt
and I spilled beer on my clean shirt
I havent slept in my own bed for days and days
And the only girls that I know work at the Gisborne bottle-o
they know me by my first name
I've got so many rhymes I just keep writing them down
I got the reggae rock steady kingston sound
with the beats up so loud man it's drowning you out
I got the noise complaints coming up from the neighbours house
I got friends in the drunk tank the rhymes down in 1 take
a 5 string guitar and all the cash in my mums bank account
and I doubt that she'll even find out
that she paid a months rent for Kim and Daves house
it's the cheap beer in Fitzroy the crime waves in Melton
it's the kids on the street it's the people who help them
it's the poor cunce in Footscray that just can't stay sober
it's the the jams up in Sunbury and the chills down in Hobart
and sometimes it gets hard working 8 days a week in your factories
and I can't sleep it feels like I'm dying
Cause now the morning makes my head hurt
and I spilled beer on my clean shirt
I havent slept in my own bed for days and days
And the only girls that I know work at the Gisborne bottle-o
they know me by my first name
Track Name: I Was Only 19 (Redgum)
Mum and Dad and Denny saw the passing-out parade at Puckapunyal
It was a long march from cadets.
The sixth battalion was the next to tour, and it was me who drew the card.
We did Canungra, Shoalwater before we left.

And Townsville lined the footpaths as we marched down to the quay
This clipping from the paper shows us young and strong and clean.
And there's me in my slouch hat with my SLR and greens.
God help me, I was only nineteen.

From Vung Tau, riding Chinooks, to the dust at Nui Dat
I'd been in and out of choppers now for months.
But we made our tents a home, VB and pinups on the lockers
And an Agent Orange sunset through the scrub.

And can you tell me, doctor, why I stil can't get to sleep?
And night-time's just a jungle dark and a barking M16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
God help me, I was only ninteen.

A four week operation when each step could mean your last one on two legs
It was a war within yourself.
But you wouldn't let your mates down til they had you dusted off
So you closed your eyes and thought about something else.

Then someone yelled out "Contact!" and the bloke behind me swore
We hooked in there for hours, then a Godalmighty roar
Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon,
God help me, he was going home in June.

I can still see Frankie, drinking tinnies in the Grand Hotel
On a thirty-six hour rec leave in Vung Tau
And I can still hear Frankie, lying screaming in the jungle
Til the morphine came and killed the bloody row.

And the Anzac legends didn't mention mud and blood and tears
And the stories that my father told me never seemed quite real.
I caught some pieces in my back that I didn't even feel
God help me, I was only nineteen.
Track Name: Two Guys One King's Cup (Ft. Wondermere)
Well these weeks I've got no sleep with the way that I've been living
cause I've been up all night taking mushrooms in the kitchen
and the sinks full of dishes from all the chemicals we're mixing
and I'm trying not to listen but I still hear you bitching
about your empty bank account as reality grows distant
then it only takes an instant till I question my existence
cause is this the business where art gets dangerous?
nah in this job you have to suck dick to get famous
cause it aint the way the game is pulling chicks and getting hell rich
unless you win a contest for triple j's playlist
every day the same shit I wake up feeling anxious
I'm hungry cold and poor I spend my days getting wasted
and basically just blatantly hating on the government
I got the cook book but the book cooked my oven
and I'm sick of all these rappers who take themselves so serious
chill man and come and have a beer with us
and now when I think back to my high school days
with my high school mates and the blunts we blazed
and the months and days huffing shit and drink driving
and I still dont even have my license
but I since realised that those days are beautiful
rippin bucket bongs and fucked on pharmaceuticals
sipping mushroom tea in public toilet cubicals
stealing from Coles just became the usual
way to get paid to get laid to get blazed spend the days in a haze with my criminal ways
cause when the sun goes down I'm jumping your fence
and I'm stealing all that shit in your garden shed cause I'm hard on the rent just living at my mums house
trying to kill time smoking blunts with a 40oz
maybe that it's time I get looking for a job soon
I know the whole back catalogue of redtube
(Wondermere)
Track Name: Oxford
She told me that I fucked up my whole life
but I dont mind no I dont mind
cause I'm alright
I'm still alive I'll just get by
I dont care cause I'm alright
this shit is what we like to do I never cared too much for school
making friends with the rejects in the toilets smoking cigarettes
skip class smoke grass try not to laugh as the cops keep driving past
there's always bottles on my floor I play nintendo 64
and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 Justin's always playing drums
Kelton lives further down my street when I want something to eat
I cook everybody meegz I get my clothes from charity
I dont drink cheap wine anymore
there's a mattress on my floor
that I sleep on when I pass out from the beer bong
and dream of all the shit I cant afford
but who needs a job when theres banks to rob shit to steal and drugs to deal in a parking lot
and I'm not getting out of bed today
and when I walk the city streets I start thinking of the world
when I try and go to sleep I keep on dreaming of this girl
I watched star wars till my eyes were sore
played video games with the kid next door
and its just so fucking beautiful
Track Name: The Grog Delusion
Now drink beers like there's no more water
I'll get you up jumping like Anakin Skywalker
cause Sammy brought the bass up high for ya
and now I'm gonna do another rhyme for ya
it goes K-I-N-G-S King's Cup gonna make you envious
so pretend with us that you know how to sing
youre gonna get schooled like Billy Madison
and now Sammy got us kicked out of the espy
but we've got cold beers in the esky
and everybody likes dub step except me
and when it comes to hockey I'm Wayne Gretzky
with a beat up nose and two blackened eyes
well your girlfriend thinks that I'm so fly
we can spin shit like L Ron Hubbard
we're 4 cunce tearing up the North West suburbs
Track Name: King's Cup Party
Well ever since I could remember its been reggae rock hip hop
and I've been in the center cause the rhymes I write are shit hot
but now I start to think that maybe I've been ripped off
my friends are telling me it's time I get a real job
so I dropped out of uni for employment opportunities
but now I'm just broke looking for something new to be
a talentless musician doesnt help me pull chicks
I got a vision of the line outside of centrelink
and everything I write I get accused of being plagiarized
and when I try to sing I find that I get stage fright
my carpet was real white till i knocked my beer over
and I dont ever drive cause I'm never fucking sober
Cause tonight we're gonna get fucked up
with King's Cup on the mic whatsup
and the party's going on alright
then it stops and the bassline drops
well there aint no party like a King's Cup party
cause a King's Cup parties dope
and how much dope would a woodchuck smoke if a woodchuck could smoke dope
and I've broken my ankle and I've broken a few hearts
but I've broken more strings on my acoustic guitar
with the car stereo cranked up it's time to listen
to King's Cup jamming up the PA system
with the beats that I've been hitting and the songs that I've been spinning and the bongs that I've been rippin and the wisdom that I'm spittin
but livin my life isnt like I pretend
being unemployed means I never get a weekend
I got no car and no girlfriend
but I got 9 dollars and 63 cents
Friday night we're the Chuggateers
we smash the state and we smash some beers
Cause tonight we're gonna get fucked up
with King's Cup on the mic get fucked
and the party's going on alright
then it stops and the bassline drops